Iced Tea Read online

  She shook her head, “Maybe I should have paid more attention to the things other kids were doing at the time, but I had my head down, and I was on my way. I had it all figured out.”

  She took a drink, a deep breath, and started in again, “I was on my way home from the student library. I really didn’t have any business being there. It was late. It was on a college campus. I was still in high school. But I had special permission from one of my teachers to do some work there, and I was so impressed with myself, that I didn’t even stop to think that I was out of my element.”

  Teagan and I stiffened up.

  Morgan could feel the change at our table, but she kept her head down and stared into her diet Pepsi, if she’d squeezed that glass just a little harder, it would explode, “I was walking past this grassy area, on my way to the parking lot. I was going to meet my dad there. He was going to give me a ride home. It was well lit. I didn’t think anything about it. I was thinking about an outline I’d just finished. There was something missing, but I couldn’t put my finger on it. I was so lost in thought that when I bumped into this guy, I just said ‘sorry’ and kept walking. I didn’t make it very far. I felt him grab my left arm. He spun me around. It all happened so fast, I didn’t even scream. It didn’t really register in my mind what was happening.”

  Another deep breath, “He had a knife. He said he’d cut my throat. He shoved me across the grass to this drop-off I didn’t even know was there. It was dark in that damn gully. He raped me. He beat the crap out of me. He raped me again. He beat me some more. When he was done, he spit on me.”

  Teagan passed me a napkin. We both had tears running down our cheeks.

  “The worst part of it was the look on my dad’s face. He’d been sitting right there in the parking lot when his teenaged daughter was being raped and beaten. When I crawled out of the gully, some girls were walking past. They were really good to me. They called campus security and they covered me up with a towel, they were coming back from the pool. One of the girls went to the parking lot and got my dad. All she told him was that I needed him on the quad. He came charging up, really pissed that I’d kept him waiting, and when he saw me, the look on his face, it broke my heart.

  “Anyway, the ambulance came and took me to the hospital, and it was like an out of body experience. I was looking at it so clinically. Like it was a medical issue. It’s weird. They patched me up and they took all their swabs, they had me talk to their rape crisis people, and campus security made me go through the whole thing again once the cops were done. It was a mess.

  “So, anyway, I stayed home for about a week, till the worst of the damage on my face was starting to smooth out. I got my hair cut because he’d pulled out a couple of patches and it just looked stupid. My first day back at school, my favorite teacher found me, told me she’d been through almost the same thing when she was in college and if I needed to talk, she was available any time, day or night. It was hard, but I was a tough kid, and I was working through it.”

  She took a deep breath, “Then, about five weeks later, I just fell apart. I was sick and worried and scared all the time. I couldn’t sleep. I couldn’t eat. My parents were worried, and brought me to the doctor. Turns out that the morning after pill, which is more than one pill by the way, is 95% effective. That means it is 5% ineffective. That means Jordan. The worst thing in my life turned out to be the best thing in my life.”

  Teagan grabbed Morgan’s hand, “Morgan, I am so sorry about the way he got here, but I’m so glad that he is here.”

  Morgan burst into tears, “I wish my family felt that way. They said that I should get an abortion. I refused. They said that Jordan would ruin my life. I refused to believe it. They didn’t want their perfect over-achieving daughter to be seen in public with a huge belly and be one more statistic, a teen mother. I couldn’t have an abortion. I just couldn’t do it. From there, our relationship just fell apart. My mom and dad are civil when we see them, which isn’t often, but they prefer that we don’t spend a lot of time with the rest of the family. I haven’t seen some of my extended family in years.”

  I didn’t know what to say. I can understand parents wanting the best for their daughter, but once they’d met Jordan, surely they could understand and he would melt their hearts. I decided it was probably better if I just kept my mouth shut.

  “They think I’ve already chosen a difficult path by keeping Jordan. Now I’m getting married to a white guy. An interracial marriage on top of everything else is just more than they can deal with. They’ve pretty much washed their hands of me.”

  Teagan hissed quietly, “It’s not an interracial marriage.”

  Morgan looked genuinely confused, obviously she’d not yet heard Teagan’s rant about all things racial, innocently, she started the ball rolling, “Then what is it?”

  “It’s an intercultural marriage. We are all members of the human race. You’re simply part of another culture, just like Jessie is. Anyone that isn’t 100% Irish is going to be from a different culture than the O’Flynns. What difference does it make? If you look throughout history, depending on the wants and needs of the culture, race has been defined in lots of different ways. It happens to be color in this society, it’s just plain stupid, and it’s way past time everybody got past it.”

  “I agree, obviously, but that isn’t the way my parents see it.”

  I chimed in, to give Teagan a moment to pull it back together, “I’m so sorry. What can we do?”

  “There’s nothing anyone can do. Maybe they’ll help Liam and me celebrate our 25th anniversary. Maybe they’ll warm up to the idea that we’re married by then, but I wouldn’t hold my breath.”

  “Morgan, I don’t know your parents, obviously, and I really don’t even know you all that well, but I don’t understand. You were the victim here. You were raped. You did a noble and honorable thing by choosing to raise the baby, and he’s a fabulous kid. I don’t understand how your parents are anything but bursting with pride.”

  Morgan looked so sad, “I went from being a virginal medical student wanna be, to a woman who took some computer courses online, had a baby outside of marriage, for all the world to see, and isn’t really doing much with her life.”

  Teagan hissed, “I’m sorry, but your family is just plain wrong. You are a woman that was knocked down, and instead of becoming a victim, you have moved forward in the most positive light possible, and done a really amazing job of raising your son.”

  Morgan shook it off, “Doesn’t matter. It is what it is. The point is, that I don’t have anyone coming to the wedding from my family. If we do a formal wedding, then there are going to be a gazillion O’Flynns on one side of the room, or the church, and a few of my friends on the other side, and the pictures are going to look really awful, and it’s just going to bring to mind all the stuff that is in the past, and it’s going to put weight on the day, and I don’t want that.”

  I did my best to sound upbeat and excited, “The good thing about a wedding is that it’s yours to do any way you want. If you don’t want a bunch of people on one side, and another bunch on the other side, don’t seat them that way. Don’t seat them at all. Have them stand up, or have them mingle, or have them pick numbers out of a hat and assign each seat a number. Any way you want to do it, that’s the way it should be done. It’s your wedding.”

  “That’s what Liam said.”

  Teagan laughed, “He’s right. Makes it the second time this century.”

  It was good to see Morgan smile, “Dare I ask what the first time was?”

  “When he told my mom that you are the very best thing that ever happened to him, that you are gorgeous, but you are smarter than you are pretty, and stronger than you are smart.”

  Teagan reached out and grabbed Morgan’s hand. Smiling she said, “Okay, we O’Flynns are the type to get in your business long before invited, so I just want to know what our role is in all this. Do you want us to try to fix it? Do you want us to be the strong silent ty
pes in the background? Do you want us to be all superficial bubbly wedding cheerleaders? Just what would work best for you?”

  “I want you to be yourselves.”

  “Lord, there will come a time when that doesn’t work for you at all, but for now, we’ll pretend to be normal. Anything else we should know?”

  “Not that I can think of.”

  “Can I ask who else in the family you guys have told?”

  “Liam and I told your mom and dad.”

  “I’m glad they know.”

  “Me too. It was hard. I’m kind of conditioned that parents are not going to react well, so I was really nervous. If your parents felt the same way my parents feel, I don’t know what I would have done. I love Liam too much to put him through what I go through.”

  “My parents would never do that.”

  “I know. Your dad teared up a little. I know he was thinking how he would feel if that happened to one of you guys.”

  “More likely, he was just thinking about you Morgan.”

  “Your mom gave me a hug, fixed fresh tea, and said that the past is gone, and we can’t change it, look at the blessing, Jordan, and that she is really proud of me.”

  “That sounds like Mom. We’ll leave it to you if you want to tell anyone else in the family. If there is one thing an O’Flynn can do, it’s keep a confidence, which is a wholly different thing than keeping a secret; we really suck at keeping secrets.”

  Morgan laughed. “I don’t care who knows any more. I’m tired of being ashamed.”

  Teagan looked intense, “Two more things. One, you have nothing to be ashamed of, I’ve said it, it is true, you need to know that, and to understand it with every single fiber of your being. Two, does Jordan know?”

  “Thanks. He doesn’t know the details. When he was a little younger, he asked why he doesn’t have a dad living with us. I told him that it’s a really long story; he’d know all about it when he got bigger, but the only thing that is important is that every day of his life, I am blessed to be his mom. Sooner or later he will ask what that means, and I’ll tell him then. The psychiatrist I saw for a while after the rape said that boys identify with their fathers, even if they have never met, so I should be sensitive to that.”

  I popped in with something really profound, “Well, that is all ugly water under the bridge.”

  I rolled my eyes, a newly forming habit that must be broken, and continued, “Liam is his dad now, you can tell just by looking at the two of them. Liam is the person that Jordan will identify with.”

  Teagan chimed in, “Sorry about that.”

  We all laughed.

  The ugliness behind us, we moved on to more pleasant topics, mostly filling Morgan in on stupid Liam tricks from our childhood. Even the time he stole the jelly donut filler and squeezed strawberry filling directly into his mouth till it about came out his nose. That was the night we found out that Liam is allergic to strawberries. You can’t imagine what that kid went through, and I’d have a hard time describing it, but since he survived, it’s fodder for the family to laugh about.

  SIX

  I was in such a good mood driving home I sang wedding reception appropriate songs at the top of my voice, and probably tortured more than one dog in the neighborhood while I was at it. Bad news is that I’m pretty sure I ran a red light at the corner of Benkins and 7th. Good news is that there was no one around, and it doesn’t have one of those cameras on a pole that record your stupidity for the police to see, and maybe end up on YouTube, and probably end up with a really expensive ticket.

  I stopped at the mailboxes, no bills, further cause for celebration. I got back in my wee little car and zipped to my favorite parking space, which was empty and waiting for me. Could the day get any better?

  I pulled in, noted my neighbor with the big blue balls - the welcome mat states that, I have no personal experience - was home and parked next to me, and since he is really picky about his car, no door dings on that side, for sure.

  I half walked, half waltzed to my door, thinking about the perfect meal to share with AJ, and just what eveningwear I would choose. I was leaning toward short and sheer, but I might go with long and sophisticated, when everything went to shit.

  Life can do that.

  Only takes a second.

  Leaning against my front door was Joe-the-cop. “Cara, I hope you don’t mind my dropping by.”

  “Actually, I do. They have a new invention Joe, it’s called a telephone, it’s all the rage in Europe, you should try using it before just showing up at someone’s house.”

  “I didn’t think you would mind. You told me yourself that you have family dropping by all the time; you said that they come unannounced. I figured you were always up for a visit.”

  “Don’t know how to break the news to you Joe, but you aren’t family. What do you want, Joe?”

  “Can we go inside?”

  “Actually, I don’t think we can. Why are you here? What do you need to talk to me about that you couldn’t address over the phone?”

  “I would really prefer to talk inside, Cara. Standing out here is going to draw attention.”

  “You weren’t very worried about drawing attention when you were standing outside my door waiting for me to get home. You’ve been drawing attention since you got here. How long ago was that Joe? How long have you been waiting?”

  “What difference does it make?”

  “Well, if you have been standing here for a minute, then you probably didn’t draw all that much attention, but if you have been standing here more than a minute, I’d hazard a guess that half my apartment complex has already taken notice, so it doesn’t matter if we stand out here a little while longer.”

  “People always assume that their neighbors are looking out for them, you would be amazed the number of calls I go on that nobody noticed anything.”

  “One last time; what do you want Joe?”

  “Did you tell anyone about our conversation? The one we had on your parent’s lawn? Did you decide to tell anybody?”

  “Yes and no.”

  “How can it be yes and no? Either you told somebody or you didn’t.”

  “Well, it’s no, because I didn’t actually have a conversation with anyone and tell them what you told me. I figured that if you’re actually telling the truth, and not just trying to justify your vaguely disturbing actions, then I didn’t want to do anything to put anyone in danger. At the same time, I’m not a completely trusting individual, yes, I have issues, so I wrote everything down, everything that you’ve told me, every encounter we have had, all the research I’ve done, I printed it all out, and I supplied it to some people. I know it’s very cheesy to do something like that, but sometimes cheese is called for.”

  “Who did you give the copies to?”

  “Kind of defeats the purpose if I tell you that doesn’t it Joe?” Makes me kind of wonder why you even care, if there’s nothing weird going on.”

  “I told you that this is all a covert operation. If there are a bunch of inexperienced amateurs out there trying to figure it all out, someone could get hurt. I told you that from the start.”

  “What do you want Joe?”

  “Mostly, I just wanted to check in with you, make sure we’re both on the same page. Obviously, we are not. The safety of the people involved doesn’t seem important to you at all Cara. I’m surprised.”

  “Joe, I’m an Irish Catholic. Don’t bother with the whole guilt thing. I’ve not put anyone in danger, but I’ve protected myself, or rather, I’ve protected my legacy, such that it is. If something goes terribly awry, at least the people that love me will know what happened, and before you even ask, no, those aren’t the people that I supplied with the information, that would be stupid, and I’m far from stupid Joe. If there’s nothing else you need, it’s time for you to go.”

  Okay, so maybe I was getting loud, but I prefer to think of it as assertive.

  “Cara…”

  Just then, my neighbor’s
door opened, “The lady said it was time for you to go, Buddy.”

  “I’m not your Buddy, I’m a cop, and I’ll leave when I’m good and Goddamned ready to leave. Go back in your apartment unless you want to find your ass in jail.”

  Just then my neighbor-lady I almost never see popped her head out the door. “Yay! I love making videos for YouTube. Police harassment gets a lot of hits, you can even make money on advertisement now if the video goes viral, and I just recorded a man, identifying himself as a police officer, threatening an unwarranted arrest, excuse the pun. Would you like to give me your name, or I’m sure Cara can give it to me.”

  “Great. Good going Cara.” Joe stormed off.

  My neighbor-lady winked, “Honey, I’m not sure if we just made it worse or better, but if you need anything at all, you just scream, I’m not shy, and I got more than a camera in this apartment.” She closed the door silently.

  My big balls neighbor said, “Cara, like I said, I’m keeping my window open just a little, I wasn’t trying to get into your business, but that guy sounded like a real creep, and I just wanted him to know that he isn’t goin’ to bully a lady when I’m around. You need anything, you holler.”

  “I appreciate it, I really do, but I don’t want to get you in any kind of trouble. Everyone knows, you make an enemy out of a cop, your ticket average could go way up.”

  “I’m not worried about that little prick. I know his boss.”

  “How do you know his boss? How do you even know who his boss is?”

  “I bowl every Thursday night with the chief. Believe me, he don’t want to push me too far.”

  “Good to know. And, thanks.”

  With all my neighbors tucked neatly back in their apartments, I looked around to make sure that Joe was really gone. I didn’t want him to suddenly sprint at me and shove the door open once I unlocked it. Once inside the door, I threw the bolt and engaged the maid lock with impressive speed, while my foot was jammed up against the door like I could stop someone if they actually tried to force their way in.