Wedding Tea Read online

  “Green.”

  “Trick question. Sinead didn’t pick any out. What’s wrong with you?”

  “I’ve had a lot going on.” I was defensive at first, but then sadness hit me. Hard. “We’re doing pretty good, don’t you think? The wedding will be beautiful.”

  “Really? That’s all the excitement you can get going? Don’t you want to get married, Cara?”

  “Of course I do.”

  “You don’t sound very convincing. What’s wrong?”

  “Nothing.”

  “Open your damn door.”

  “You’re here?”

  “Of course I’m here. I wouldn’t have this kind of conversation over the phone. I was just waiting for Suzi to leave.”

  “You sound really creepy. Kind of stalker-esque. You get that, right?”

  “I don’t care. Open the door.”

  Teagan took her first sip of tea too soon. It burned her mouth. I’m not going to lie. I was just a tiny bit happy since my sister wasn’t scarred for life or anything.

  “Ouch. Now, tell me, what’s going on?”

  I couldn’t keep the heartbreak out of my voice. “I guess you’re right.”

  “You don’t want to get married?” I hadn’t seen Teagan’s eyes get that big and round since we were in grade school and Teagan found out her favorite teacher would probably not marry her when she got bigger.

  “Not really.”

  “Cara.” She sounded so heartbroken for me. “Then why … ”

  “Teagan, I want to be married. I just don’t really want to get married. Not without Mom being here. It’s all come back and slapped me around. I hate that Mom won’t be here.” I couldn’t hold my tears.

  “You know she’ll be here, Cara. She will. In some form.”

  I lost it. Straight to the ugly cry. “Some form isn’t good enough. God, I miss her. I still do all the stupid stuff, you know? Like the other day, I was at the store, and there was this beautiful teacup and saucer. Just the one. It was on clearance. I put it in my basket because I knew Mom would love it, and I was halfway to checkout before it dawned on me. I left everything there in the basket and just came home. It wasn’t supposed to be like this. Mom’s supposed to be here.”

  “I know. But she wouldn’t want you to be miserable, Cara. She would want you to have a beautiful wedding and have a wonderful time.”

  “She won’t be here to celebrate with us. Proof you don’t always get what you want. Not even Mom. All those times A.J. asked me, or I knew he wanted to, and I kept putting it off. If I hadn’t been so stupid, Mom could have been at our wedding. She could have worn her super pastel yellow dress she loved so much. The garden one. With all the flowers coming up the side. Remember? It would have been perfect for the wedding.”

  “You can’t play the what if game. It doesn’t work. If you want to honor Mom in some way, that would be nice, but you can’t stop living your life and stop smiling because Mom isn’t here to witness it.”

  “I know.”

  “Would you be happier to call it all off?”

  “I want to be married, Teagan. I can’t wait to be A.J.’s wife.”

  “You don’t have to have a big wedding. Think about Sinead and Howard. They went to the courthouse.”

  “And Mom was there.”

  “Yes, she was. But we’re talking about now. We’re talking about you. If Mom was sitting here, what do you think she would say?”

  “If Mom was sitting here, I wouldn’t have this problem.”

  The look on Teagan’s face was familiar. She looks more like Mom every day.

  I was a little snippy. I admit it. “Okay, fine. She would tell me she raised me better. Smarter. My happiness is not dependent on her being here. I make my own choices, and if I choose to be happy, I will be.”

  “That does sound like Mom. Can I add something else?”

  “You’re going to no matter what I say.”

  “True. You do Mom a huge disservice by allowing her passing to be the reason you’re not enjoying something. Mom would tell you that. She would want you to have whatever kind of wedding you want, and she would move heaven and earth to make it perfect for you.”

  “It would be perfect if she were here.”

  “We can’t fix that, Cara.”

  “I know.”

  “You know we’ll plan all of this for you. You know the family will do whatever it is you want. I just don’t want you looking back some day and thinking to yourself, If only I’d paid more attention, Teagan wouldn’t have had the opportunity to put all those little messages all over the place. And the one the priest found, he still hasn’t recovered.”

  “Messages?”

  “Dingleberry, you really need to start paying attention.”

  The scary part is, I have no clue if she was kidding.

  The doorbell rang, and by the time I got to the door, there was no one there. I looked out the peephole and was just about to open the door anyway when I got seventeen kinds of paranoid and decided there was someone out there waiting to bop me over the head or something.

  I walked back to the kitchen, and the doorbell chimed again.

  “’Tis me, child.”

  “Oh, Daddy. Did you ring just a minute ago?”

  “I surely did. I rang, and then thought I heard you about in the backyard and headed for the gate, thought the better of it, and came back ’round.”

  “I didn’t see anyone when I looked. I promised A.J. I wouldn’t open the door unless I was sure I knew the person on the other side of it.”

  “That is well and truly good advice. Do you have time for a cup?”

  “Always.” He followed me back to the kitchen and sat at the table.

  “Is everything alright, Daddy?”

  “Could be better, could always be worse.” He chuckled.

  I had the feeling he wanted to talk about something he really didn’t want to talk about.

  “What’s new? Anything going on in the family I should be aware of? I’ve been kind of preoccupied. I admit it. With the wedding plans and the weirdo looking in on Suzi through the baby monitor, I’ve kind of lost track.”

  “We are all doing well enough.”

  “Did you want to talk to me about something, Daddy?”

  “I do, but I’m concerned.”

  “About what?”

  “You won’t give me the moment I need to make it clear to you what I have in mind.”

  “I’ll keep quiet.”

  His smile set my heart at ease. “You say that now, Cara Siobhan.”

  I laughed. “Spill.”

  “I was thinking I might bring a guest to the wedding if it be alright with the two of you.”

  Daddy was right. I couldn’t keep my mouth shut. “A date?”

  “Not in the least. I thought I would bring Aldo’s wife. She has been in such a state since Aldo has passed, and I thought it might bring her some lightness if she were around something happy.”

  “If you want to bring her, then I’ll make sure she gets an invitation.”

  “Shouldn’t you check with himself?”

  “A.J. only wants you to be happy, Daddy.”

  “I’ll not want people to think we are any more than old friends. If you think that will be the assumption, then I would rather find another way to bring her spirits up.”

  “Let people think anything they want to think. Who cares?”

  “Your brothers and sisters might. You know how people can be.”

  “Daddy, there’s no reason for you to worry about what people think. If you knew how little time they spend thinking about anyone other than themselves, your worry would be set to rest. All you need to think about is you and Aldo’s wife. What’s her name? Why can’t I think of it?”

  “We always called her by a pet name, but her name is Ada.”

  “Give me two minutes, and I’ll have an invitation ready for her.”

  “There is no need for that, Cara.”

  “I want her to kno
w she’s an invited guest, not just a tagalong or something. I want her to be comfortable.”

  “That is very kind of you, child. I argued with myself. This being your wedding. I didn’t want to feel I’d insisted on an interloper or some such thing.”

  “Don’t be silly. It’s a casual wedding in our own home. Of course the people that are important to the people that are important to us are welcome.”

  We laughed.

  It felt good.

  I’m glad Daddy has someone.

  I’m sure it hasn’t gotten past the point of sharing grief and spending time together. He would have said something. But I’m grateful there’s a possibility. In the future.

  Seamus’s head is going to explode.

  That makes it even better.

  I doubt Daddy got to his car before I ran through the house, grabbed the phone, and called Teagan.

  “You were right.”

  “I’m always right, dingleberry. You’re going to have to be more specific.”

  “Daddy was just here. He asked if he could bring Aldo’s wife to the wedding.”

  “What?” It only took one word to hear the disapproval.

  “Don’t go all Seamus on me. He made it very clear they aren’t dating or anything. She’s just really depressed about losing Aldo, and Daddy thinks having her around something fun and happy will help.”

  “That wouldn’t work for me, but he knows her. I think I’ve only met her a couple of times in all these years.”

  “Yeah, Daddy and Aldo always spent time together, but I think the wives only put up with each other because their husbands were friends.”

  “Did you ever hear Mom say anything about Aldo’s wife she didn’t like? I don’t remember anything like that.”

  “Nope. Never an unkind word. But we’re talking about Mom, Teagan. She wouldn’t have said anything unkind about the wife of her husband’s friend anyway.”

  “True. I don’t know how I feel about this. It seems like it’s too soon.”

  “Too soon for what? I told you they aren’t dating.”

  “I know. Mom always said if she died before Dad, he was supposed to find a hot new wife. One that could take care of him and the kids.”

  I could picture the sad smile on Teagan’s face.

  “I remember. Mom used to say if you had a really good marriage, the man would remarry right away trying to re-create what he’d lost. She said she wanted the whole world to know that what he’d lost was a hot wife.”

  Teagan and I shared a laugh. Then a cry. Then I got off the phone and went about making sure I got the invitation out so it wouldn’t seem like the whole thing was an afterthought.

  That’s the story I’m going with.

  I’ll admit somewhere in my mind, I didn’t want this woman to be Daddy’s plus one at my wedding. I preferred she be her own invited guest.

  I know it’s stupid.

  I still need it to be that way.

  I called A.J. to let him know I’d just invited another person he doesn’t know to the wedding. He’s been so good about it. There are gonna be a whole lot more people on my side than his. I know Suzi said we won’t have sides, but still, I feel sad for them.

  I took a breath. “I also want to apologize.”

  “For what?”

  He seemed genuinely confused. Is that good or bad? Did he not see anything I’d done worth apologizing for, or are there so many things to apologize for he couldn’t decide which one I was addressing?

  I really need to wash my brain out.

  I’m not sure if I’m getting worse or noticing it more.

  “If I’ve given you the impression I’m not excited about the wedding. I was talking to Teagan today. She pointed out I haven’t been my usual, controlling, neurotic self about the wedding. I didn’t want you to think it isn’t important to me.”

  “I know you’ve been missing your Mom.”

  “Yes, but that’s no reason. I’m going to do better.”

  “Cara, I don’t care about the wedding. I care about you.”

  “I know.” He can make me smile no matter how much of a butthead I feel like.

  “I think somewhere in my heart, I was just waiting for my mom. I really thought she would have a cup of tea with me by now. Somehow. In a dream? Just to tell me she’s okay. One time, I talked to her about it. Not about us, really. My girlfriend in high school found out her mother was really sick. Probably going to die. When Mom and I talked, she promised if she died first, she would come back and have a cup.” I took a second to blow my nose. “I know we have her blessing. She loved you with all her heart. She thought you were the best thing that has ever happened to me. She told me. More than once.” I couldn’t go on. The tears were back.

  “Cara, I’m not good at all this stuff, but I’m sure your mother will come to you. When the time is right. You know how she is. She’s gonna let you figure it out all by yourself, and then tell you she knew you could do it and how proud she is of you.”

  I nodded my head. I couldn’t speak.

  “You want me to come home? I can.”

  I choked for a minute, then blew my nose and answered, “No. I’m good. I just needed to talk to you for a minute. You always make things better for me.”

  “How about I pick up dinner tonight so you and Suzi don’t have to cook?”

  “Suzi’s coming home?” I didn’t even try to keep the excitement out of my voice.

  “Yep. She told me about twenty minutes ago.”

  “That will make things better. I’ve really missed her and the baby.”

  “I’ll tell her you said that.”

  “I’ll make dinner. All her favorites. Evelyn, too.”

  A.J. laughed as he called out to Suzi and told her I was happy they were coming home.

  “Thank you. You made everything better.”

  “Cara, that’s all I’ve ever wanted to do.”

  I almost ran right over Roland when I was backing out of the garage.

  I stopped the car, remembered to put on the emergency brake and everything, and popped out to see what was going on.

  “Is everything alright?”

  Roland seemed stern. “As far as we know.”

  “Why are you here?” I gave him a cute smile, trying to be charming and all of that, but he didn’t lighten up at all.

  “Two things. First, personal.” Roland looked down at the ground. Completely out of character. It made me nervous.

  He continued. “My guys are not allowed to date clients. Neither are the women, actually.” He blushed. “One of my best guys has come forward and told me he intends to ask your sister-in-law out.”

  “My sisters-in-law are all married. To my brothers.”

  “Suzi.”

  “Oh, sorry. Not sure what happened there. Brain fart. I have no problem with Suzi dating one of your guys. Teagan and I were joking about it. I think it was Teagan. Maybe it was A.J. Anyway, we can trust your guys aren’t the crazy people she has attracted in the past.”

  “Matt is a great guy, even came to me before asking her out and said he felt — because company policy was so strict — he was willing to quit if she said she would go out with him.”

  “That seems a little extreme. A little off-putting, actually. Willing to give up a job for a woman he hasn’t even gone out on a date with? Is that normal?”

  “Not for regular guys, but my guys are different. For two reasons. My guys are honest and honorable, and they don’t walk a line. They’re on one side or the other. Second, I know every time one of my guys takes a breath, a bathroom break, he goes out on a date with a client, I’m going to know about it, and if he’s breaking policy without prior consent, I’ll can his ass.”

  “Suzi really isn’t your client, Roland. Technically, I’m not even your client. Suzi is several steps removed from Adeline, and it’s Adeline who’s your client.”

  “I’m aware. Hence my problem.”

  “Why is it a problem?”

  “Because
I can’t stop my guy from seeing a woman that technically isn’t my client, but she is the granddaughter of the best friend of my biggest client. It could get” — Roland took a deep breath, rolled his eyes, shook his head, had to smile a bit, then continued — “complicated.”

  “Suzi’s grown. If she wants to go out with Matt, great. If she says no, great. It has nothing to do with her grandmother. Carolyn isn’t that kind of person anyway. If it doesn’t work out, you won’t have any repercussions from anyone.”

  “That’s what I figured, but I felt I had to say something for reasons of full disclosure.”

  “No problem. I’m on my way to the grocery store. Suzi and Evelyn are coming back home. I’m going to make a special dinner.”

  “Okay, I won’t keep you. Just one other thing. When will you be back from your honeymoon?”

  “I’m not sure. A.J.’s taking care of all of that. Adeline said she could work around anything we wanted. She even offered us a month in Europe, which we turned down, by the way. She can be way overly generous. What’s up?”

  “The ladies are thinking about going on a cruise to Mexico. Adeline mentioned she thought you might want to join them. Maybe bring along your sister. I was hoping I could persuade you to go. Everyone thinks cruises are fun and fabulous and nothing can go wrong, but I would feel better if the ladies had some backup.”

  “So you’re saying part of my job is to go on a luxury ship and eat and drink and have fun?”

  “Yes.”

  “I think I can do that, Roland.”

  I gave him an impromptu hug.

  I love it when I make him uncomfortable.

  There’s just something fun about being informal with formal people, and these days, I need a little harmless fun.

  He stepped back. “Good. Please don’t share our conversation with Adeline. She’s almost forgiven me for Vegas. She mentioned it in passing, and I just wanted to make sure you would be available. I’m not officially asking you to be her bodyguard or anything. I’m just letting you know there is a strong chance she will be going on a cruise, and an equally strong chance she will invite Teagan and you to go with her, and I would consider it to be a personal favor for you to join her.”