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  “Thank you, I take that as a compliment. Cara, you’ve been whining for days. What the hell is your problem anyway? What is all this crap about being flat-chested, and picking the wrong guy, and whatever else you’ve been whining about.”

  I couldn’t help it, my voice rose, “Gee, I don’t know. Every idea I’ve come up with you’ve shot down within twelve seconds. And the really shitty part is that every reason you’ve given has been valid. That just sucks. You look better in my clothes than I do. My roommate ran off and got married. You’re going to fall madly in love and have babies. I don’t have a job. I don’t have a career. I don’t have any prospects. I can’t get my left foot behind my head, and, there is a slight, a very slight, possibility I might not win the lottery.”

  She actually looked concerned, “A possibility you might not win? This is serious. The lottery started in, what, 1988? Not only were you nowhere near old enough to play, but no other kids our age even knew what a lottery was, and you told Mom that you were going to win. You’ve been telling anyone that will listen ever since. There has never been a doubt in your mind. Not since that first day. What is going on with you?”

  I whined, “I told you, my life sucks.”

  “Give me a break. You’re intelligent. You’re healthy. You’re tall and thin and have the voice of an angel, to quote Grandma anyway. Personally I think you sound more like a wolverine with asthma, but everyone else thinks you sound good.”

  What a blessing my pain in the butt sister is, she can always make me laugh.

  She wasn’t done, “You are beautiful inside and out, and if you don’t have a guy in your life it is by choice. If your life suckith, it is because you choose for it to suck. What would Mom say?”

  We chanted at the same time. You get out of life exactly what you expect. No more. No less. Change your mind. Change your reality.

  I smiled and said, “Thanks for the pep talk, but it doesn’t change anything.”

  “True. That’s because at the moment you expect your life to suck, and not in a good way.” She actually winked. Eye rolling, that’s one thing, but winking? Twice in one day? There must have been a shift in the universe when I wasn’t paying attention.

  I hate the fact that not only is my sister right all the damn time, but she can prove her point with humor. I hate perfect people. And yes, I am whining.

  SEVEN

  We were sitting at the table eating our sandwiches, Teagan looking beautiful, when AJ walked in, and just about swallowed his tongue.

  All he said was, “Ladies.”

  He disappeared into his bedroom. Ten minutes later he walked out to find us hovering over the computer again. He was freshly showered, smelled really good, and had that casual tossed together, but could have walked down a runway during fashion week, kind of thing going on. Perfectly cut jeans. A shirt that made his eyes even more intense than usual, or maybe the intensity came from the way he was looking at my sister. Either way, now that we are in the age of equality among the sexes, sonnets could be written about his eyes.

  “AJ, this is my sister, Teagan. Teagan, meet AJ.”

  “Good to meet you AJ.”

  “The pleasure is mine Teagan.” It was very clear by his voice and the look on his face, that it was true the pleasure was his.

  “What are you ladies up to this evening? Anything I can help with?”

  I hit him with my best smile. “We’re doing a computer search. I’m tracking down a murderer.”

  “A murderer? Is there something Suzi didn’t tell me? Why are you looking for a murderer? Do you moonlight as a cop?”

  Teagan laughed hard enough that AJ was charmed, but not hard enough to snort or do anything to embarrass herself. It’s usually me that does that type of thing.

  I took a breath and in a very even tone said, “No, I’m not a cop. I saw an interesting article that said there is a $100,000 reward for the person that figures out a murder, I thought I’d give it a shot.”

  “Sounds dangerous.”

  Teagan piped in with, “That’s what I said.”

  I scrunched my lips and did an unintentional, but very convincing, impression of a duckbilled platypus and said, “If the two of you are afraid of poking around on a computer, in the safety of your own home, then you’re boring. I’m not going to strap on six-shooters and take to the streets. I’m just going to do a little nosing around, and if I happen to find something, or come up with a brilliant insight, I will contact the proper authorities. It is my duty as a citizen, is it not?”

  “I thought you were doing it for the reward.” Again with the eyes rolling.

  I swear to you, one of these days, if there is a God in Heaven, those eyes of hers are going to stick like that. I’ve been waiting for it to happen since she was nine.

  “Can I offer the two of you drinks? Maybe at that little place Suzi showed me down on Butler? Dinner if you’re hungry.”

  Teagan piped up with, “Oh, I couldn’t possibly. I’m not dressed to go out, just dropped by to try to talk Cara out of this foolish idea. Actually, my mom sent me. I’m not fit for public consumption.”

  Public consumption? I couldn’t believe she said that, but AJ seemed to approve.

  “To say you look beautiful would be an understatement, I’m sure you aren’t capable of looking anything less than exquisite.” He did a cheesy bow and hand gesture, complete with eyebrows dancing around on his forehead. Made us both laugh.

  It was obvious that he knew that Teagan knows that she is gorgeous. He let her know that he wasn’t going to get bogged down in that.

  I liked him more every minute.

  EIGHT

  I couldn’t believe the name of the place. The Bricking Café. What was AJ thinking? He must not have an Irish bone in his very well developed body. Brickin’ is Irish slang for being nervous to the point of soiling yourself. Wonder what that means about him bringing Teagan here.

  Of course, all self respecting Irishmen know what Freud said about us. Freud said, “This is one race of people for whom psychoanalysis is of no use whatsoever.”

  Maybe I’m reading too much into the choice of eateries. I do that sometimes. Read more into things than they warrant.

  Since I sincerely doubt AJ is Irish, I wonder if the choice of eatery means anything at all. Maybe it’s just a cosmic hiccup, or maybe it’s the cosmos trying to tell us something. You have to listen to the cosmos. It will always do right by you given even half a chance.

  We’d walked into the Bricking Café about an hour and a half after AJ’s initial invitation.

  All heads turned.

  Back at the apartment, my sister claimed she’d just thrown on anything before running over to save me from myself, and insisted that she needed to run home and change. Wouldn’t be caught dead looking such a mess. Fine. She was wearing what could easily be my (past) favorite, and most expensive top, and she acted like it was ready for the trash heap. I’d get her for that one another time.

  You know what they say about the Irish. The only thing that really lasts is our grudges. Even the little ones.

  In about an hour, Teagan had run home, showered, and changed. She got to the Bricking in record time. Amazing what motivation in the form of a male can do for a girl. Besides, the whole quick-change thing is one of her many talents.

  As much as I hate to admit it, and I do hate to admit it, she looked like a movie star.

  He, on the other hand, had gone for a more subtle approach. Who is it? Maybe Tommy Bahama? The line of men’s clothing that has those really high quality linen pants?

  The ones that move in a way that makes you wonder just what is going on under there. He was wearing a pair of those.

  I was wondering.

  He wore a really lightweight crew neck sweater with the sleeves pushed up.

  I know it doesn’t sound like that big of a deal, but trust me, it was. He was also wearing loafers of some type, but I had real problems getting my eyes to travel that far down from his, um, we’ll say it
was his eyes that got my attention.

  It isn’t a sin looking at him that way. They aren’t married yet. They haven’t even been on their first date.

  As for me, I schlepped in in a pair of capris, a cami, and a blouse with hibiscus flowers all over it. I also wore flip-flops.

  I’m trying to teach myself how to wear them. I hate anything between my toes.

  Have you tried to find an attractive pair of summer shoes that don’t have something between your toes? It’s well nigh impossible these days.

  I hate flip-flops.

  I hate standing next to my sister.

  I hate knowing that every guy in the room is comparing us, and that I’m coming up short. Actually tall.

  I hate my life.

  Ok, I don’t hate my life, my life is actually pretty good, I’m just in a mood and I haven’t been able to snap myself out of it. I’m working on it.

  One of the things I love most about my sister is that she isn’t afraid to be herself in front of a man. Ok, so maybe she chooses to present a glammed up version of herself, at first, but herself just the same.

  Take a look at her and you would determine instantaneously, based on every fact and stereotype ever hurled at you in the name of female tutelage, that Teagan is one of those women that never fall off the diet wagon. It’s dry rice cakes and tofu for this woman.

  You would be partly right. The reason Teagan has never fallen off the diet wagon is that she has never been on it.

  I’ve heard her appetite described as robust. My mom used to say that she was a human vacuum; she would suck down anything available. Since that charming phrase might have other connotations now that she is an adult, we will just say that the woman has an appetite on par with a teenaged boy.

  She ordered something called the Bricking Brewster. I guess they have a family member living in Brewster, Texas. That much was documented on the back of the menu. What wasn’t documented was why they made such a big deal about this particular relative. They didn’t say he was a celebrity or anything. I’d never heard of him. The only thing that I could surmise from the information at hand was that he has a fondness for large dinner plates filled to capacity.

  Teagan’s order, The Bricking Brewster, is a huge slab of beef, with butter and seasonings on top, with about a pound of mashed potatoes and some veggies.

  The look on AJ’s face was priceless. He couldn’t have choked down that amount of food in a week, but for my sister, it’s not even a challenge. She won’t even share. Nor will she gain an ounce; nor will she apologize for having a great appetite.

  I asked her once what will happen if her metabolism slows down, and a dinner plate that full starts to show itself on her hips, or thighs, or whatever. She laughed! She said as long as she’s healthy, she didn’t care. People with perfect bodies can think that way. It’s so aggravating.

  AJ ordered a much smaller steak and a baked potato, dry.

  Yuck!

  I had my usual chicken tenders and fries.

  We did the chit chat thing until the food came. It was somewhat entertaining to watch the two of them size each other up.

  By the time our server showed up with our meals, we had ascertained that Teagan is smart and has a great sense of humor.

  We also knew that AJ is single, not really looking, but not really not looking, and established in his career. I thought about it, and being established is a good thing; it means he has time to woo my sister.

  My sister was elbow deep in dinner when AJ mentioned that he has a talent or two that I can use. My ding-a-ling brat sister didn’t even say anything; she just kept filling her face. What good is she to me? It isn’t like I could use my feminine wiles on the man since it’s pretty obvious to me he is into my sister. All I could do was make a mental note.

  Two mental notes actually.

  First, find out just how AJ’s hobby of all things computer can be of use to me.

  Second, smack my sister.

  My question of the night, could he help us find the murderer? If I worked it right, in the name of impressing my sister, he would lead me where I needed to go. Straight to the $100,000 reward.

  I love it when things work out the way that God intends them. Didn’t I tell my sister that I had a plan? Didn’t I tell her that all I needed was to borrow her for a little while to charm some guy into helping us get the information that we need to figure this whole thing out?

  Ok, so maybe the guy I need her to impress was in my apartment, not the police department, but I was close. Apartment, department, really, that’s pretty close. The fact remains, that this is going to work out for me, and when push comes to shove, and it always does, that’s what’s important.

  NINE

  “So, what’d he say?”

  I shot up off my bed as if I’d been caught playing doctor with Joey Pinkerten. Again. We didn’t actually play doctor. It was more like he was the doctor and I was the nurse and we were gonna find some other kids to play, but then his mom caught on, and instead of playing doctor, we got to write sentences about the mistake we’d almost made.

  His mom insisted that being curious was ok. Curious just means that you want to learn something. Learning is always a good thing. What we needed to learn from this particular situation was that if you feel the need to hide something, then it is something that you shouldn’t be doing. If we were willing to play doctor, in front of our parents, then we didn’t have to write sentences.

  We got writer’s cramp.

  Teagan shook me back to present day, my heart still racing.

  Still a little breathless I said, “What the hell are you doing in my apartment? How did you get in?”

  “The key.”

  “Where the hell did you get a key?”

  “Mom gave me the emergency key.”

  “Why would she do that?”

  Eye roll, “I told her it was an emergency.”

  “What’s the emergency?”

  “I need to talk to you. I had some ideas about the reward search.”

  “I’m a lot of things Teagan, but stupid is not on the list. What is going on with you? Why are you here? Why are you here so early? And why the hell do you have Mom’s key?”

  She just smiled and said, “I’m off to fix a cup a tea then. Get yourself out of bed, and for the sake of all the saints in Heaven, put some clothes on. Cara, no one, especially not your sister, should have to see that in the morning. Do you really have to sleep naked?”

  I pulled the sheet up and said, “No one else complains.”

  “No one else sees you.”

  “That was unkind. True, but unkind.”

  I got to the kitchen just as the kettle was getting to a fine start. I grabbed two mugs and two tea bags and went about making each of us a cup of tea in a thoroughly untraditional and practically sinful way. I rummaged around in the fridge for a while, but all I could find worth interest was a bag of Oreos and some bread.

  We opted for the Oreos. Each taking three, just like we did when we were little kids.

  With the proper blend of caffeine and sugar rushing through my veins, I was thinking a little more clearly.

  I looked Teagan in the eyes and said, rather calmly, considering, “Let’s start over. What are you doing here?”