Wedding Tea Read online

  I focused.

  Teagan looked sad. “Most of the time.”

  “Okay, tell me everything from beginning to end, and I won’t get mad until you tell me you’re done.”

  “From your lips to God’s ears.”

  Teagan told me the whole story this time. Turns out she knew about the computer problems at work more than a little before the guys found them doing the forensic search after Gord disappeared. When Gord started there, one of the first things he did was take inventory of all things computer. He immediately understood Teagan’s company had a lot more memory than she needed and a lot of files were hanging out in a storage closet instead of a cloud.

  He got curious, so he snooped around.

  He found some discrepancies, and he found the wonky files everyone who was not truly educated assumed meant Mr. Fisher had been cooking the books. Teagan wasn’t sure what all of it meant, and she wasn’t sure just how much Gord had told Lola. So when Lola first started causing trouble, Teagan reacted badly, which probably gave Lola reason to believe there was something going on. Lola’s gypsy spidey-sense told her there was something afoot, which meant she could get something out of Teagan. Lola’s only challenge was to figure out what was blackmail worthy.

  “Why didn’t you just tell me?”

  “Because, of all the O’Flynns, you’re honest to the point of pathology. You’re basically neurotic about it. I didn’t want to tell you I blew it by being less than honest. I’d set myself up for all kinds of craziness with the office and with Jessie, and then all of a sudden, it looked like it might have had something to do with a murder. It didn’t, by the way. Things really did happen just like the cops said. It’s just that for a couple of days, maybe a week — okay, maybe two weeks — I was under some really screwed up assumptions and made a few bad decisions because of it. Then, of course, I had to make stuff up as I went along, and everything got all screwed up.”

  “I wish you had trusted me enough to tell me.”

  “I trusted you. I didn’t trust me.”

  “What’s that supposed to mean?”

  “Dingleberry, I had to decide, based on the flawed information I had at hand, if I was willing to give up everything. Jessie. My home. My future. My business. To do the right thing. If things were what I thought they were, and I kept my mouth shut about what I thought was going on, everything continued as it was. If I opened my mouth and anything went wrong, I could lose it all.”

  “I’m glad you didn’t have to make such a difficult decision.”

  “But I did. Well, Mom did.” Teagan’s voice caught in her throat.

  “What?”

  “All I heard day and night was Mom’s voice. Love, what you do when nobody is watching defines who you are.”

  “Oh, yeah. That would be Mom.”

  “I had everything ready to go to the authorities with my screwed up information when everything went crazy.”

  “I would have liked to have seen that.”

  “Me throwing myself on the mercy of the IRS?”

  “I’m not sure throwing yourself on the mercy of the IRS would have been your best approach, but no. I would have loved to see the look on your face when they told you nothing had been done illegally.”

  “By the way, I haven’t really confessed all of this part to Jessie yet, so for once in our lives, can you just keep this to yourself?”

  “Sure, but he loves you, Teagan. He will accept all this, just like me.”

  “Yeah, well, you’ve had more practice. Jessie still thinks I’m this perfect little … ”

  “Jessie, better than anybody, knows you aren’t perfect.”

  “Gee, thanks, dingleberry.”

  “And anyway, he loves you as much because you’re imperfect as he does because of all the perfectness things.”

  “You should sell greeting cards.”

  “It’s a thought.”

  TWO

  I COULDN’T BELIEVE it when so many of Roland’s people came to the house right after Teagan left.

  They did a full forensic exam of my door. They took fingerprints and pictures. They replaced the lock on my outside garage door and replaced the door from my garage to my house.

  I admit, when I saw it was a lovely door — looked like aged wood just like the original — I was very surprised and grateful.

  Evelyn slept through the whole process. Being violently awakened from her little snooze on my shoulder earlier and screaming hysterically seemed to have taken it out of her.

  I had pretty much calmed down until one of the guys I know from Roland’s security company let something slip. Since those guys are the best of the best, I’m sure it wasn’t an accidental slip.

  He told me the reason they were taking this so seriously was simple. It wasn’t the first time my home had been compromised.

  Last time, it was Adeline’s grandson and his friends. They broke in to my apartment in a really twisted attempt to help his grandmother. He did such an amateur job of it that he was caught, but not before all kinds of security had been put in place at my old apartment.

  Basically, he pseudo-confided the reason they wanted to nail this down was so we didn’t have a repeat of the situation.

  Roland’s people don’t spread gossip, so obviously, for whatever reason, Roland wanted me to know.

  Why do I have to argue everything? “But Christophe is working with Adeline now. Why would he break into my house?”

  “I’m not saying it was her grandson. I’m saying we want to make damn sure it’s someone after you, not after your boss.”

  “Well, thanks.”

  “You know what I mean.”

  “I do. I appreciate all you guys have done and all you’re doing. Doesn’t it make sense it was just some kid looking for some change or to grab a soda out of the fridge? Something kind of innocent.”

  “Breaking and entering is rarely innocent.”

  “I know. I’m just saying the person that tried the side door isn’t necessarily an axe murderer.”

  “Didn’t see an axe in his or her hand. Do you know or suspect something you have not included in your debriefing?”

  These guys have no sense of humor. Or maybe their response to a crisis isn’t to make a joke of it.

  I once thought one of them might be a good match for Suzi, but then I decided I wanted to find her someone with more sparkle. More laughter. More of a sense of humor. After this morning, I’m thinking a sense of humor might not be as important as muscles and a gun.

  I know A.J. and Suzi would think I’m overreacting.

  Every time I overreact, Teagan blames it on Barry for kicking the crap out of me.

  I wonder why Barry is messing with my thoughts so much lately. My mother would tell me to stop thinking about it, because once you put it out there, the cosmos will do its damnedest to make sure your wish, whatever it is, comes true.

  If you put bad thoughts out there, it isn’t the job of the cosmos to make sure they’re in your best interest. The cosmos just does what you ask it to do. Kind of like Beetlejuice. Think of it too many times, and it’s going to appear.

  I tried to pull my thoughts back to something more constructive. Like how I could convince myself all of this is some kid after beer and pocket money. As hard as I tried to do that, it wasn’t working.

  Just after the security guys left, Evelyn was up and wide-awake. She has such good timing.

  A smiling baby makes everything better. It’s more powerful than a cup of tea.

  I’d purchased a craft project online and decided today was the day. I understand Evelyn is a little young for crafts, but I really only needed her body parts.

  That sounds terrible.

  I brought Evelyn down to the kitchen, washed the table, and then washed her hands. I read the directions twice, to make sure there was nothing toxic in the ingredients.

  The kit came with some ink-type stuff and some soft clay. I kneaded the clay until it was softer still, rolled it out on the table, and used a
glass to make sure I got it nice and smooth. I’m not using my good rolling pin on crafts. It’s hand carved. I’ve had it forever. I found it at a garage sale, and the little old lady selling it to me said her brother had made it for her when she had married her husband more than seventy years before.

  I took a small heart cookie cutter and cut out a cute heart shape. I smoothed the edges so the heart looked a little more puffy and soft. I poked a hole in the heart so we could hang it on a leather strip if Suzi wants to wear it as a necklace, or we can maybe use it as an ornament on the Christmas tree.

  Once I got the heart shape exactly the way I wanted it, I took the ink stuff and lightly coated Evelyn’s thumb. I smooshed her thumb into the cute little heart shape — up on the left so it was a little asymmetrical — making sure not to overdo it. I wanted to see the ridges of her print, but I didn’t want to misshape the heart. I took her thumb away and made sure to get the gunk off before she put it in her mouth.

  I lifted the heart shape to the light to see it in all its glory.

  The second try wasn’t any better than the first. Or the third.

  Undaunted, Evelyn and I went to the mall and got Suzi the cutest little laser-etched pendant with Evelyn’s thumbprint on it.

  I think Suzi will love it.

  By the way, should anyone ask, we aren’t calling this classic avoidance behavior. We’re calling it a lovely gesture toward Suzi.

  The rest of the day was uneventful. Troya and Sinead came over midafternoon to show me some ideas they’d come up with. Decorations for the wedding. Since A.J. and I haven’t decided where to have the ceremony yet, decorations are wide open. They came up with some truly beautiful options.

  I’m leaning toward having the wedding at our house. I think if I try to do a whole big church thing — without my mother — I’m going to be so emotional I won’t enjoy the day. For me, a wedding is mostly just celebrating what A.J. and I already have. In my heart, we are already married. I know I sound like every eighteen-year-old with a crush, but for me, it’s as real as it gets.

  It isn’t so much about the big impressive ceremony, or showing the world the O’Flynns know how to throw a party. It’s about everyone being a witness to what A.J. and I share.

  Isn’t that what family and friends are? Witnesses. To your joy or pain or anything else in your life. The people you love or hate might be participants, but the truth is, we all live our lives alone. No matter how intertwined we are with other people, those people are living their lives alone, too.

  I’m sure there’s a really good analogy out there, but I just figured all this out not long ago, and I’m not really comfortable with it myself. The perfect example would be some composite that completely holds its own form and uniqueness when mixed with other stuff. The resulting other stuff would be improved without damaging the original stuff.

  When I think of a good example, I’m going to have a long talk with Teagan about it. I don’t want her shooting down my new belief just because I can’t articulate it well.

  I’m a part of the O’Flynns, but I am my own being. I know without the O’Flynns my life would be completely different, but it wouldn’t end. There would always be an O’Flynn-ness in me.

  It wasn’t all that long ago, I thought if my mother died — not that I actually thought about her dying — my world would end. It would simply implode. My whole universe and everything in it would be over.

  It’s not like I thought about it in terms of Mom not being here. It’s more like something I always just knew. Like knowing the voice of an O’Flynn makes me feel better no matter what the circumstance.

  I know I sound stupid to someone that has never experienced what I consider normal. I know I sound like a lunatic. Even Teagan says I’m neurotic and pathological. But I’m good with that. If being in my reality requires me to be those things, then I’m not at all convinced those are bad things to be.

  Kind of self-serving, but I’m good with that, too.

  We huddled up as a family once A.J. and Suzi got home. Suzi and I cooked dinner together, but A.J. and Evelyn were never far away. They sat at the table and discussed everything from how fun school will be when they finally allow her to go there and discover the secrets of science and mathematics, to the fact she’s the single most intelligent human being ever to land on this planet. This, A.J. explains, is evidenced by the fact she knows where the Cheerios are kept and does an impressive charades game verging on hot and cold to vector A.J. to the right cabinet.

  A.J.’s going to be a great dad. He takes every opportunity to either teach or encourage. He counts out Cheerios — he doesn’t just put a bunch on Evelyn’s tray or on the table. He asks her questions and fully expects her to answer, even if he doesn’t yet understand what she’s saying. He tells her how smart she is and how lucky he is to have her in his life. The single most important thing he does for her is that he allows her to see his eyes light up every time she comes into his view. There will never be any doubt in her mind how much she is loved and wanted.

  Suzi once whispered to me how it breaks her heart A.J. never had any kind of acceptance or assurance. Not the kind he lavishes on Evelyn. When I was horrified, she explained only their Gran and Pappa truly cherished them, and only when they were older. Her grandparents noticed the problems with Suzi. A.J. had been able to cover better than she had.

  Some people use a difficult background as a reason — or excuse — for every challenge they have. Some people rise above it. I watch that every day with A.J. I wonder if I’ve been as successful. Not that I’ve had a lot to overcome, but even O’Flynn life wasn’t perfect.

  I just choose not to focus on the imperfections.

  Like a diamond. Every life has inclusions. But depending on where they are, the sparkle can be just as bright.

  Okay, I’m officially worried about me.

  I went way too far down the path.

  After dinner, Suzi and Evelyn went upstairs, and A.J. and I spread all the wedding stuff out on the table and talked everything over. I was on my third cup of tea when we had it pretty much narrowed down.

  We’re getting married at our house.

  We’re going to ask Billy, our family priest, if he can marry us.

  We’re going to have it catered.

  We’re going to keep it simple.

  Somebody named Joley is going to be our photographer.

  We’re going to keep it small. O’Flynn small. So you know what that means. It will be like a big ol’ O’Flynn dinner with a ceremony thrown in there in the middle somewhere.

  We’re going to use the money people usually use on decorations on things for the backyard that will mostly stay there. Instead of a bunch of cut flowers, we’ll buy things we can plant. We’re counting on my father’s green thumb to get everything growing and looking great in time for the wedding. I’ll ask him for help tomorrow.

  I’m going to wear a simple dress. A.J.’s going to wear a suit.

  I’m going to have Teagan stand up for me. A.J. is going to have Jessie stand up for him.

  We’re going to pray to the maternity gods Valerie and Sinead hang in there and don’t deliver on the day of the wedding.

  Teagan called just as I was making A.J. a final cup of hot chocolate. I told her we were going over the plans we had decided on. She invited herself over.

  It was getting kind of late, but late doesn’t matter when you’re planning your wedding.

  Teagan brought dessert and Jessie. The guys took off to get a beer and play some pool while Teagan, Suzi, and I talked wedding plans.

  “So what type of dress do you think you want? My girl will be here to measure you at nine tomorrow morning.” I knew Teagan would ask me that question, and I didn’t have a good answer.

  “Simple.”

  “Simple? I have my personal dress designer fly halfway around the world to make your dress, and simple is all you’ve got for me?”

  “Teagan, we both know you don’t want or need any more direction than t
hat. I can’t look at a sketch and decide if I like it. I’ll have no idea if it looks good until I try it on.”

  Teagan rolled her eyes. “You’ll have no idea even after you try it on, dingleberry. You have no idea how beautiful you are.”

  Suzi supported Teagan in her attack on my reality. “True. You also don’t know how much you lucked out in the sister-in-law department.”

  Teagan chimed in. “I know, right? She doesn’t understand how much she lucked out in the sister department, either.”

  “Or the husband department.” Teagan went a little too far.

  I shut them down. “I know exactly how lucky I am that A.J. and I found each other.”

  “Yes, but do you understand how lucky my brother is to have found you?”

  Teagan answered for me. “No. She doesn’t get that part.”

  My ego fully inflated, we turned to other matters. Like the menu.

  Teagan questioned me. “Catering? You? Really? Are you going to be able to handle someone else in charge of that? Or anything else? Usually you’re the one all over the place, checking on stuff.”

  “I’m going to completely relinquish control.”

  “This I gotta see.” Suzi shook her head.

  “Dingleberry, I admire the belief you seem to have in miracles, but there’s no possibility you’re going to be able to relinquish control of anything, especially anything that has anything to do with, you know, anything about taking care of anybody.”

  I may have gotten a tiny bit huffy. “I get it. Anything. But you’re wrong.”

  Teagan had such an evil glint in her eye. “You been practicing? The whole Fifty Shades thing get to you?”